Friday, May 9, 2014

Two Weeks since the D-bomb


It's been two weeks now since the big D-bomb hit.  12 years... ugh.  The days have been rough, to say the least.  Making arrangements to stay in the same house for at least a four month or so time period while we get the financials and papers etc in order.  Amicable is good but hurts like hell.  My biggest hurdle is to try and trust that he will follow thru with his words.  I've known him a long time and I've never known him to not be a good person or go back on his word.  But my own history of crap in the past says there is always that chance so fighting the fear is hard.  He is being outstanding tho, even when I'm not so nice.  (He understands that I have a right to be hurt!)  Tuesday was I think the real breaking point... two breakdowns in Walmart, one in another store and then hours and hours of crying and bawling and even curled up in a puddle of my own tears on my kitchen floor.  I'm sure there will be other days similar to this but I'm working thru this and doing my best to stay strong and calm.  I'm scared shitless tho!

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