Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Drained and awaiting answers

Grey Skies Kokopelli

Simplicity
I had a list of 18 tests that were run, took some doing to get it done, one of them required specific equipment for the lab to have.   BUT... finally got it done, they took 12 tubes!!!  I was soooo drained and needed fluids and MEAT afterwards!  LOL    So with any luck sometime in the near future we may have some answers, if not at least we will have ruled out more!  :D  I am trying really hard to find a way to function around this crap, but it is really hard when the whole body starts to hurt and the head is swimming and swaying and the seizures are non stop.  OMG I will be so glad when we finally get a medication up to a level that will start to help this issue.  We still have no idea why all of this came on so suddenly.  Everything is still a mystery.  We may just have to accept that is just that, a mystery. 

Anyways, my goal now is to attempt to get to where I can at least get to where I can do some art in my craft room and maybe make a new video.  In the meantime, I play WoW when I can't get up and move around and I doodle in my 3x5 books while I'm stuck at my desk.  (It helps keep me sane... sort of!)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Update: Doc visit etc

UPDATE: I just got back from the Neuro doc and he feels that there are two possible things going on with me. That the seizures are only a small part of what I'm dealing with because too many of my symptoms are not neurological and he feels that they are connective tissue disorder or infectious disease that hasn't been detected yet. Or several other types of disorders and diseases I can't remember. He seems a bit confused about it all and is referring me back to my primary to continue random tests. But in the meantime is treating me for the simple partial seizure issuess. We'll see what happens over time. Its very frustrating, and is going to get very expensive too!  In the meantime I continue to fight thru my days with all the symptoms it will take 6 to 12 weeks to get my meds up to a level that controls the seizures (if I stay on the one med and don't have to change). Then deal with tests and more tests. BUT they have ruled out any standard viral and bacterial infections, my cbc comes out good, my blood cultures tests came out good, my lyme and mono tests came back negative, there are no obvious or simplistic answers so now we start testing for other things. Lupus was one that he mentioned. Its all very irritating and frustrating!

SO that is my update, sorry to have bored you! Maybe one day soon I'll post something with some ANSWERS.

Monday, June 20, 2011

What about today?

Yesterday's doodle...3x5
The weekend was rough, each day seems to be a challenge.  I am not sure what to expect next from this stupid head of mine.  Saturday started off good and mid day took a turn, then by early evening I was miserable.  I ended up going to bed fairly early (for as Saturday) due to pain and well, its just easier if I'm asleep.  For some reason my episodes increase and the day progresses and so the mornings are easier than the evenings.  Once I lay down the chills subside and I read for a few minutes and go to sleep.  I don't sleep very soundly but at least I'm resting some so that the next day I get a little break in the a.m.

I don't want to be a downer all the time, this whole ordeal has become a major emotional problem for me.  I really thought I was going to be on my way to normal when my body decided to start back tracking.  I'm lost not know what is going on and frustrated that no one has any answers.  I'm still waiting for some test results, I won't get one of them for a while because it had to be sent off to a lab in another state.  I'm still waiting for my Neuro to return my call to reschedule that appointment (really still sort of irritated with that office).  But... no answers, no treatment.  I have a pain killer that helps some but not near enough, that is for the joint pain in the evenings mainly.  The neuro will put me back on seizure meds, but its still a bit of a shot in the dark so who knows what is next.

SO... today... I'm just dealing and trying to learn patience and tolerance ... and I SUCK at it! 

I sure hope to anyone who is bothering to read this crap that your day is going good for you! 

*toodles*

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Still waiting

Recent doodles... click on image to see full size.
I'm still waiting for answers, still waiting for doctors to figure out what they want to do next. I'm tired of being trapped in this insanity. I got the blood work back and that was all clear but now they have to decide what tests to do next. Currently I'm waiting for my primary doctor to talk to my Neurologist. (the Neurologist is where we are hung up!) UGH.

I am not able to get in and actually do any real painting or mixed media art because I'm suffering from chills and severe headaches and seizures.  So ... doodles it will have to be for a while longer I guess.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Hate waiting...

A squiggle are I did back in 2006 - digital art
So blood was drawn, tests are being done, cultures are being done. If nothing shows up here then they will most likely order a lumbar puncture.  :(   They are looking for some kind of infection whether in the blood or in the brain.  Oh yeah.  Sounds so exciting.  I just want answers and a fix.  I feel like a caged sick animal and I really do NOT like this at all. 

*pout*

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Seizures, Doctors, Medications, Frustrations! OMG I want to SCREAM!


SO.... if you don't want to read about me on my current soap box then please... don't continue to read. 

Pynki in the Brain 05-07-2007


For some who don't know, I had a 2.8x3.2cm meningioma brain tumor (named Pynki) removed from the right front lobe of my brain back on May 30th, 2007.   I spent the first year in lots of pain due to nerve damage, lots of memory and retention issues and I gained 40 pounds between diagnosis and 1 month post surgery.  (2 months.)  The second year started to get better... took some time, lost a tiny bit of the weight but still having memory and retention issues.  Year three... I thought things were going to get back to "normal" and I would have my at least some part of my old life back... work etc.  NOT
24 hour post op, looked better here than I did 2 days later!

2010 MRI
So, my newest problem originated back last year mid spring … which is why we had the MRI and EEG done.  When the MRI showed clear and I got the EEG results as “seizure like activity”.  I bailed and ran scared I guess you could say.  Between finances and fear did not follow up with Neuro.  Over the next months it was pretty mild and employment was my focus.  I got a part time job at Home Depot but then they kept putting me out in the 100+ temps every day and that seemed to aggravate things some.  I blamed the weather and job and stress.  I ended that job after several attempts to fix the problem.  Later I obtained a temporary job as a “parts clerk” that was a full time position.  I really enjoyed the job but the episodes were still around.  When that job abruptly ended the episodes seemed to increase in frequency (not really intensity tho).  I blamed the stress.  I eventually went to the Doc (primary care), explained things and well… was put on anti-anxiety meds.  This helped part of the problem… the anxiety that was a result of the actual problem come to find out.  Gee… you’d think after a life time of this crap I’d be used to it.   

So the anxiety meds treated the “problems getting a deep breath” which in turn took care of the chest pain that was caused by my trying to breathe which I guess was caused by my panic from the other symptoms.  The original symptoms being my lips turning purple, a strange and sometimes painful sensation across the front part of the top of my head, my speech slurring, my words becoming garbled and mixed up, loss of mental focus, and pain in the sides of my neck and or in the insides of my forearms, like the veins were being squeezed tightly.    

Recently these episodes began to increase in frequency and intensity, so I made an appointment with my Neurologist and finally followed up on the EEG.  We discussed what was going on, and the possibility that it was partial seizure activity that was in part a cause of these symptoms.  However, he did not feel that it was the cause of the pain in my neck and arms.  BUT first things first I guess.

SO… started me on Lamictal XR (05-26-2011).  I am all for getting these episodes under control and if medication is the answer then I will concede.  HOWEVER, after starting the low dose of the titration kit and being on it for a week, the seizures started to increase in frequency and intensity, then the evening of day 10 the chills started, the next day (Day 11) same thing but also had  what I call the nods, not being tired but nodding off briefly,yet having no reason to be tired, (ie: blood pressure fine, blood sugar fine) and started to have more  headaches and started having joint and muscle pain.   During that day I was wearing a jacket in an 81° house and still feeling cold.  

Day 12… same things but muscle pain and joint pain increase and the headaches really got bad.  During these three days I still had the increased episodes that were fairly intense. (partly causing the bad headaches I think.)  I ended up taking the clonazepam because I started having some anxiety and recognized the breathing issues.  Also on Day 12 I called Neurologist office in the morning to express my concern at these symptoms as side effects from the medication, left message.  The assistant returned my call and got the info and relayed to the doctor.  I called back at 3pm to see if there was an answer yet but the doctor was running behind and would get back to me asap.  At 5:30 the assistant called again with a request that I see my primary physician about these symptoms because the Neuro doc didn’t think they were caused by the medication and wanted to rule out infection, but wanted me to continue the medication.  I at that time didn’t feel like everything was communicated to the Neuro so I reiterated the increase in the episodes etc.  She then got back with the doctor and called me back saying that the Neuro said to stop the medication and make a follow-up appointment to discuss further medication options and that since I was unwilling to see a primary physician to rule out infection etc that was all they could do.  I never refused to see my primary physician, I just felt like there had been miscommunication.   UGH!    Okay so I did not take the dose on the evening of day 12 (06-07-2011).

Day 13: So now I have an appointment set with my primary physician to rule out any underlying possible problems etc that could cause the symptoms.  I am also waiting to hear from Neuro to schedule the follow-up appointment for change in medication.  This is really quite annoying by the way.  I really would have preferred to speak to the Neuro doc directly so that EVERYTHING was relayed correctly instead of being accused of refusing to do as requested.  UGH.    This morning I started off with episodes and chills, joint and muscle aches and a mild headache.  It's mid-day now, the chills have mellowed a little but not gone.  (Hmmm... but that can't be... the meds aren't the cause???!!!.... OMG!)  My head is killing me tho... and the episodes are constant.  I keep calling them episodes because they don't feel like seizure but then again I'm comparing them to the seizures I had earlier in life that were caused by the tumor itself.... so there would be a difference.  :D

Okay... for now I'll stop ranting!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Needing time to relax, rest and recover.

Not my photo.  Feeling of  hanging on for dear life!
I've been working harder than my body should be working and am now in severe pain and my head is going crazy too!  I am on new meds now, for seizures.  SO... those are just fun fun.  And over the last couple of days my seizures have become more frequent and the effects of them stronger.  :( 

Hopefully within a week or so I am hoping to be able to finally get back to my art.  Gotta get better first tho.