Process is starting.... :(

So went to the attorney for the consult yesterday, was originally told that we could both go in and discuss things together but turned out not to be true.  So now it looks like I'm filing for divorce from him, which is backwards but I guess as an uncontested it doesn't matter and it saves $2k in the long wrong.  Learned a lot, know where all we need to go from here, have come up with some solutions to problems that were baffling us before and of course have some new questions.  But overall its getting started.  Come first of July we will be starting this process and around mid to late September is when I am assuming it to be final.

This shit just got real!

Warning Graphic Images - Not intended for the squeemish!

On Friday my youngest son and his girlfriend were attacked by a dog (the breed is of not matter because it is the training of the owner, not the breed, that is to blame) Below is the front page story of the incident, added are my corrections (media never gets things right).  My information was from the officer on scene.

Click link below for larger more image so it can be read more easily 
Full size image of article

These are only images of my son, his girlfriends leg was torn up quite badly as well. This first image is the easiest to handle, if it bothers you, please do not continue viewing this blog post!  They hospital sent my son home mere hours after the extensive 1-2 hour surgery it took to repair his neck and face as well as other wounds.  I am appauled at this for many reasons, one they do not know if the dog has rabies or not, two they are assuming that he will not have complications from the surgery, plus they live 23 miles away from the hospital with no transportation.  I think the hospital should have at least kept him overnight to monitor him, as well as treat the pain.  He was sent home with a prescription for the standard pain medicine.

The dog had already had a record of doing this and therefore the owner is going to be in debt for a very long time because they are responsible for the injuries of other people (not just their own).

After Surgery

In the ER

 

Its been 6 weeks now

It's been six weeks now and it feels like its been 6 months... and I just keep having to tell myself.... just keep swimming, just keep swimming...   UGH.........

I did get some good news and that is that I got my approval for my SS disability, but still do not know how much or when etc.   Gonna try and get a consult set up with an attorney as soon as we know the details on that monthly amount and start date so we have a starting point and go from there. Need to find out what all needs to be in order to get this done amicably and quickly.

This living on three hours of sleep is gonna kill me or make me kill.  O.o

EDIT: (later that day) - The hardest thing for me is to not throw things, scream and yell why????   He came to me with nothing... a duffle bag and a few boxes, no car, no job.  A friend of mine helped me get him here to DFW so he could get on his feet.  NOW.... He has a successful career and had a wife that was devoted to him 110% and then some... but I'm flawed and broken, so now...  I'm the one that will be without.  I will have a car, but I'll be living in an apartment that is worse than the one I had when he got here, I will have to depend on him and Social security for my entire existence.  I feel betrayed and thrown away.  I keep having people tell me things like it's not you, he's being stupid or shallow.  But the thruth is... I am broken, I am flawed, I am a burden financially and so where does this leave me ... what kind of future can I possibly look forward to at this point in my life.  

That say to have had love is better than to never have been loved.    THAT is BULLSHIT!  If I hadn't had it... then I wouldn't know what I am losing, if I hadn't gotten that first 5 years (pre tumor surgery) then this wouldn't be so bad.  But having had this amazing relationship, having moved up and onward in my life with a man I loved and adored and cherished, who became a rock in my world.  To go from apartment living to buying a home, married and full of love and laughter... and now...  THIS.    I can't even express it out loud tho because if I do then I could loose even more.  At this point I'm not sure if any of this is even worth the trouble anymore.  O.o