Friday, August 23, 2019

Starting my Friday off

So it is Friday and I think we are going to drop off my daughter's truck with my nephew who is a mechanic and see if we can get that fixed.   Hopefully without it costing an arm and a leg.   Then we need to get down to the EBT office and straighten out the medicaid and food stamp situation.  I've not got the money to feed the extra mouths.  We'll need to figure out how they want us to do that so that Shelby and Ana still have their medicaid but I have the food stamps for all three hopefully.  We'll find out.

My anxiety is up but for reasons that are silly to most people.  It's my house and the space that I spend my time in and how I need to get it organized to better fit my needs.  I need to get my desk built but can't yet.   I need a better solution for some of the items that I need here.   ERG.   I want my desk that I designed.   Dreams now.....

I'm trying to eat better, I do really good in the morning and early afternoon, but late afternoon and on I don't do so good.  It's like as the day wears on me I get weak.  :(   I need to find nummy snacks that are low fat and low calorie.

I need to learn to cook LOW FAT for my daughter (she has no gall bladder), she is losing weight and I seem to find it.  Ugh.  I'm a little obsessed about my weight right now because I am crawling up on my peak weight again and I do NOT every want to be there again.  I want to get back down to my comfy size and STAY there.  I'm tired of the roller coaster.  And as much as I love my mom, I do not want to look like her weight wise.    I swear I need a suppressant for the latter part of the day.

Well most go and get started on this day.   More later maybe.

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Last night went well...

Last night was the first night of me being in an official bowling league.   I got to see an old friend from grade school, we used to bowl together when we were kids in  kids league for many years.   I met new several people, we had 3 stragglers and one absent member that formed our team (myself being one of the stragglers).  So our team name might end up being "Stragglers" LOL   Then I met the people on the other team we bowled with last night, fun people.   Next week I guess I'll meet more new people as the teams rotate.  I was so nervous meeting all the new people, guess I have a few weeks of that.  O.o   So many of these people already know each other with the exception of me and Brent (team mate) we are the newbs. Not sure if I'll have anything in common with the people I meet or not.  Just gotta hope to "fit in".

My daughter and I did some "fluid art" today and did two 8x10 canvases each.  Mine are the purple and hers are the blue.  (These are just partial images).



I do believe I used a bit too much silicone oil and so I have LOTS of cells in mine.  Still a lot of fun and a big mess.  :)    Can't wait to paint my wooden trays.  :)   I need to go to the dollar store and pick up a couple of condiment bottles for base colors. 

On a side note, I'm feeling a bit down today, part of it is just being single and wishing my life had turned out differently.  The other is the current situation and financial issues.   Don't know how to deal with all of it.  I feel guilty for spending money on bowling but at the same time I NEED to do the bowling and it covers the Docs orders of exercise, along with the psych's order for exercise and my therapist orders for social activity.  Just wish I didn't feel so awkward about it all.