Life Changes and Challenges

***Fair Warning Long Entry***  

(and please forgive me for typos and any other weirdness in my writing, rough week effects my brain and I'm not willing to spend the time to proofread and edit anymore!)

So, those who have read my journal know that I recently became divorced.  I strangely enough have remained good friends with my ex, which all things considered is a bit surprising but at the same time, we were friends to begin with, for over 20 years.  Am I happy that I went thru what I did over the last seven years of our marriage  hell no!  However, going forward in my life I also see that the powers that be have known for quite a while this was not going to work out.  It took a few knocks upside the head, a few too obvious clues to really "Get It" ..

What it boils down to is this: There are now four people who are very happy and content with how things have turned out, even though we had ALL "set it in stone" that there would be no relationships, much less serious for a long while.  THEN things just happened and fell into place.

My now ex husband met acquaintance of mine who I have find to be a very good person, I'm a friend to her, but we've never really gotten to know each other that well.  Neither of them looking for a relationship started out with lunch and ended up in an exclusive serious relationship and they appear to be happy.  Maybe they'll be right for each other.  I know that I wish for them the best and have no intentions of any kind to get in the middle of it.  It's kind of weird because she and I chat every so often and sometimes about him, and yet there is no animosity and no jealousy or anything like that, and I do not say anything concerning the relationship issues we had.

Then there is me... that somehow ended up back with my youngest son's father, someone that has always had a place in my heart and never lost my feelings for.  (My now ex even knew that)  But he and I had gone our separate ways back then due to some circumstantial stuff and well we were young too.  I had trust issues, he had some issues to work out as well.  We stayed friends until he disappeared, when I found him again while looking for him for my son it was obvious that there were still feelings there, but he was married as was I so neither of us expected any of that to change.  There were times we would avoid eye contact when exchanging our son during visitations.  Well when my son got mauled by a not long after the whole divorce thing started, he and I started talking again and his divorce had just become final not long ago (tho his was not as amicable and was a year and a half of fighting and drawn out... long story there.)  Anyways, he and I both also were not looking to get into a relationship, but ... well he came to visit and BAM it happened... with signs from everywhere coming from all directions.  SO... we are serious and happy as well.  

So all turned out and I believe it was what the powers to be that play a HUGE part in it all.  I believe some of this was discussed in a vague manner in my last entry.   But it appears we are all exactly where we need to be, we are all happy for each other and with our personal relationships.  There is no anger, in fact there are times it is quite humorous because I do know his significant other and we message each other occasionally and then he'll call and ask me dumb questions like if I left him a thermometer because he wanted to see if he had a fever, I told him where to look he found three, two broken and on rectal...which of course turned into a hilarious conversation.

The complicate part of this is that my sweetheart lives 225 miles away from me right now and we are trying to visit each other on his days off.  And so much has been going on with his family that it's been difficult for him to leave and come to me.  Long story overall but his mother has been in and out of the hospital for the last month or so for different things (she's in bad shape health wise) his daughter had to have emergency surgery 2 weeks ago, then yesterday his son tried to commit suicide and is in ICU on basically life support.  Slim to none chance of survival etc.   SO yeah, its been rough but at least none of this started to happen until after he had someone to help him thru it and be there for him.

Another complication is that his ex does not know we are together and when she finds out... it is not going to be a good experience and unfortunately that is most likely going to happen tomorrow early afternoon.  Hopefully she'll be respectful enough to hold her attitude back.  I know it won't be me who starts it... and if she tries, she will not get a reaction from me, I will not do that to my sweetheart nor his son.

Then there is the complication that I can not put my ex and my darling in the same room.  BECAUSE My sweetheart (name being anonymous for a reason) was raised as a gentleman, country boy, who believes in treating a woman with respect and dignity and believes in thru sickness and health, thru the good times and the bad, and well he knows a lot of the things that I went thru and the three months I lived as a guest in my own home just tipped the scales for him.  He wants so bad to let loose on Greg but I have told him I would be upset and that I know he doesn't approve any more than I do of his ex and what she did, but it's better to leave the past behind and just enjoy the present and the future to come.   

Anyways, there is my update.  Time to get a little rest so that I can drive back to the hospital (in another town) so he can get a little rest.  No turkey day for us.       It's hard for him and his family right now to be thankful when they are most likely going to loose his son.   Going to make future Thanksgivings hard as well.  

Side Note: My mom just called and told me all about what she is making for Turkey Day that I'm missing out on, would have anyways because they live in another state.  But OMG.... I was drooling on myself.  NO FAIR.

Toodles