My adorable grandbabies!!!

Most adorable grandbabies ever!!!

I sooooo miss these babies, they are in D.C. and aren't moving to Texas until sometimes next year, which is sooo not soon enough!

Two of my newest necklaces

Turquoise Magnesite and red coral available at http://cybiesoriginals.storenvy.com

Turquoise Magnesite and mother of pearl available at http://cybiesoriginals.storenvy.com

I've been trying to really get busy with creating new pieces for my shop.  Tho recently I've started wondering if I'm wasting my time.  *sigh*  BUT... I have supplies so I might as well create.  

My new jewelry

Silver leaf jasper with black and red agate, tournilated and rutilated quartz accents.

The new piece in my shop, tho really starting to wonder if I am wasting my time, no one even seems to be SEEING my posts here, on G+ or either of my Facebook pages.  Am I so jaded that I am created pieces that are actually ugly and no one is willing to admit it to me?   These are quality items.   My shop is now located at http://cybiesoriginals.storenvy.com  at least the storefront is free now.  *sigh*

Trying to Sell Handmade Items!

I started making another type of jewelry for my shop, handmade hemp and bead bracelets that I am calling Economy jewelry.  You can find them at Cybie's Originals

I've been very frustrated in this whole jewelry making process.  I have a lot of items in my shop and have not had but one sale and it was my oldest daughter.  I have had two commission pieces, but other than that, nothing else has sold for over a year.  I'm almost at the point where I feel like I should give up.  Even being in a good mood this whole years long venture is making me want to just cry.

New Shop and Economy Jewelry

Some of the new items I've made recently!   I call them my Economy line!  :D  LOL

ALSO... I've opened up a new online store at http://cybiesoriginals.storenvy.com   My Etsy store will be closing over the next month or so.

I hope to gain some sales soon to help cover medical bills and groceries!

Let me know what you think of these!

New Shop and New Items

Lots of changes lately in the realm of trying to sell jewelry to be able to pay for all my medical bills.  Not having much luck but not giving up just yet.

Opened a new storefront on the net, this one is free and so that helps a tiny bit. One of the newest items available is the rare piece:

Plus I've started a new line of economy jewelry, just bracelets for now but plan on putting together some other items soon.

Feel free to check it out.

Cybie's Originals at Storenvy.com

One of the items available:

Owned & Operated

I may not agree with every single second of this film (its impossible too actually), but I believe we should all LISTEN and THINK about what it means to be... human.

A day full of emotions

Waking up after a long night of much needed rest.    I definitely feel better rested.  My body is for the most part in agreement with me on this.  I have a couple of things I want to accomplish for the day, nothing major, just get a trip to the local farmers market for vegetables and then to the evil Walmart for a few other items.  I decide to go see a friend first, a little company is always a good thing these days, I tend to get quite lonely.  Being a people person turned hermit is very difficult some days.  

http://www.joanmarieart.com

The mail arrives and there is my beautiful print of a painting by Joan Marie.   I’m creating a custom piece of jewelry for her, using this piece as the focal point.

My knee is bothering me quite a bit, but I figure it won’t be too bad, I’ve been dealing with it this long, no big deal.   SO I have myself banana for breakfast, watch a set of videos that leave me contemplating the worlds view of the human body.  Have a light lunch of half an avocado (small one even) a serving of cottage cheese and a few tortilla chips.  I then set off on my journey to go a whopping 10.1 miles that usually takes me about 10-15 minutes to drive.   I ended up driving for almost a full hour and 19.1 miles, thank you to the sweet lady in the little red car, the guy in the red truck, an 18 wheeler and 3 missed exits, OH … and the wonderful world of DFW construction.    I did finally get to my friends house, we went to the markets, two of them, got lots of good fresh veggies, then off to Walmart where I was again given a test in patience and control.  

My confidence in humanity has been lowered today.  Tho I would like to say thank you to the random driver of a black SUV that did give me courtesy and let me out of the parking lot of the Colleyville Farmers market.  (There are still a few kind people out there!)   

I am fighting many emotions today tho, frustration in the pain in my knee from simply driving and walking.  But at least I have surgery scheduled for that next Wednesday.  Hopefull y after I recover from that I will have a little better mobility and less pain.

 Frustration that I am so limited in my physical abilities right now that my yard looks terrible and I am not able to put the work into that I so desperately want to, I enjoy yard work, I want a pretty yard.  I instead of weeds again and overgrown grass and untrimmed hedges etc. 

Irritation in that I am so scatter brained that I can’t focus on things that I need to do, want to do and would even enjoy doing!  I have all these brainstorming ideas, but then I don’t get them written down and even when I do, then there they sit, on a list, buried under all the other things I put on some sort of a list to later be accomplished. 

Then when I have the drive and/or motivation, my head gets in the way with the pain and lightheadedness and other crap that no one seems to be able to explain, diagnose or treat yet.  I am frustrated in my memory, in that I have now forgotten several of the other things I wanted to journal about.  SO… guess I’m done here.  

May and hello June

Well, the month of May was a very busy month with lots and lots of things to keep me busy.  I went to spend time with my oldest daughter at Fort Belvoir, just south of Washington D.C.  Got to spend 2 weeks with her and her hubby and the four amazing and beautiful grand children!  I miss them so much already!   My daughter was having surgery and so my being there was to help her out so she could get in some recovery time.  She is an amazing woman, and even more amazing mother to those wonderful children.  She is also one really amazing daughter, I missed so much during her childhood (long story short, her father had custody and kept me from her).  She and I have developed a bond that NO ONE will ever break now!  

Also, in May, those amazing little kitties continued to grow and bounce and play while I was away.  I came back to this much bigger babies.  Then we found a home for two of the three and the third is staying here with us!  Birdie is my little snuggle fluff baby.  She is quite an amazing little creature herself, tho I have to say, my legs and her have a unique relationship that I would soon like to END.   I have some serious wounds from this little one.  She likes to jump onto my legs while I have them propped up under my keyboard tray and well, a lot of the times she doesn't land well and then uses claws to get where she wants to go.  Needless to say, the blood and me are not happy.

Art has been in the background of my mind lately.  Been working towards getting health issues under control, getting the disability stuff filed again.  I got sick right after returning home, thanks to the wonderful man who sat next to me on the plane trip from Fort Lauderdale to Dallas for his generosity in sharing his Yankee cold!  UGH.  (I helped him open his NyQuil while he made himself a hot tottie with hot tea and a Jack Daniels, no lemon tho... they didn't have any.) This darn cold has really held on tight.  I got over the main part of it and can't seem to shake the cough and congestion.  I need to get over it so my system is strong enough to deal with the next step, which is that I am having arthroscopic knee surgery on the 20th of June. It is to clean out the joint again so that maybe I can work on the physical therapy to strengthen the muscles around the knee and have more mobility!

I have so many things that I want to do, so many things that I need to do, things that need to be done, things I don't wanna do.... my motivation and energy are really low tho and I am fighting daily to get moving.  Gotta get over this SICK.

Oh and a small rant (I'll try to keep this short!)  My soon to be FORMER neurologist, Dr. Ortstadt, has turned out to be what I sensed all along, a real jerk and of NO help to me in any way shape fashion or form.  He never really paid any attention to my files/records.  Spent evidently zero time reading things, just sent me for tests and read the "reports" and then made his little snap judgement of what the problem seems to be.  He decided that a diagnosis is not necessary, nor is any real treatment evidently.  When I asked him to possibly write a letter to for my attorney for my disability he answered with some seriously rude words.  I am NOT at all happy with this and am now set up to see a NEW neurologist.  I will NEVER set foot back into Ortstadt's office again!   And now every time I experience an episode and all the pain hits I just wish I had a way to transfer that to Dr. "don't know how to change your perception" ... my perception is that I am in pain, that I have difficulty functioning at times due to these "episodes", that I can't even see straight or walk straight due to this crap and OMG I could go on.  I'll stop now tho!   I really have restrained from returning a letter of displeasure, because it will not effect the man.  He probably wouldn't even read it anyway.  He spent all of a total of maybe 30 minutes with me divided into two office visits over the past 8 months, Yeah, 2 appointments, one in October and one in April.  Wonder why I can't get better!!!????   I need someone who is going to give a shit, who is going to be willing to go the extra mile to find answers, someone who CARES about my being in pain and what is causing it.  I need a REAL doctor.  I'm tired of not being important enough to take up space in their minds.  I can only imagine the money these guys make, so they have no idea what it is like anymore to struggle.  Frustrating to say the least!




Okay, so with all that... I will hush my mouth now.  I need to go find food!    

April Recap

First, here are the kitties a little older (taken on the 19th)  I need to take new pictures since they are now 4 weeks old and are quite rambunctious.  Adorable and well from what the vet said, all girls.  

Piggy

Tigger

Birdy

Now, here is my art doodles for the month of April, I received some Derwent Coloursoft pencils, Inktense watersoluble pencils and metallics as well as an 8x5 Moleskine journal for my birthday!

Random Flowers

Looking out at you

Layers

Imagine

Downhill

Sometimes life gives you kittens!

Newborn from neighbors porch!  "Got milk?"

So, for some reason or another, the universe has decided that I am the neighborhood "crazy cat lady"!!!   (which is kind of weird considering I'm really more of a dog person!)  It all started on Monday when the neighbors to the north of me came pounding on the door wanting to know if I wanted to come get a momma cat and kittens out of their boat or just have them call animal control.    Well... softy me, says, lets move the kittens to a safe place (my porch for starters) so that momma can relocate them to a better place from there.  The stray momma is very feral and not at all approachable, but has been eating the food that we put out on our porch for one of the other stray cats, so she is familiar with our porch and the safety of it, however, it is not a safe place for wee ones because we also have wild raccoon and opossums and fox and even bobcats in the back.    Anyways, so we moved said kittens, in front of momma so she could see.... however, she got spooked and went down into the hull framing of the boat.    I put the kittens on the porch and would make sure ever so often to stir them up a bit so they would make some noise so that momma would come to them.  She did so, eventually and took one of the babies to go relocate.  However, she did not return that day, in the evening we were really worried that the coons would get them, but, they made it thru the night unharmed.  The next day again, we see the mom, but she is not responding to her kittens cries.  She even went up to the crate.... sniffed and then walked casually away and into the back never to come back again.  Again they made it thru the evening, but by noon, I decided to take them in and "foster" them so that they  didn't starve to death.   I called around and left emails with rescues looking for a nursing momma that maybe could take them in but had no luck.  I did finally get a call back from a lady who came and gave them shots to help hydrate them and explained a few things and helped us get to know what to do.  She had a new momma kitty who had just given birth right before she came over but that momma kitty couldn't take on three 12 day old kittens.  (understandable)  So...   bottle feeding and caring for three adorable, active little buggers.  They are doing great.  THEN.....

This afternoon, my OTHER neighbor sends her yard man over with a little black furry thing in the palm of his hand.  His words were, "I found it on the porch by itself, she said to bring it to you."   ---  my response... Oh My... uh... uhm... okay.    he says, "she allergic to cats."  Oh boy, so this little furry thing turns out to be maybe 24 to 48 hours old... at most.  Seems active, pooed immediately, so... I call the rescue lady with the new momma kitty.  She comes and gets the baby!  Whew... that crisis averted.... NOT.... three hours later, neighbor lady (who is handicapped by the way) says, her dog is acting weird and won't come in and is attentive to a folded up beach chair on her back porch, and that maybe there is another baby!  At this point I am really hoping for this NOT to be the case.  BUT... to no surprise, I found a baby, poor little wee one was very cold, not too active and honestly, I didn't know if it would make it an hour longer.  SO... I call the rescue lady back, she can't help this time, says that the other one is doing very good but that the little momma kitty is all full with her litter and two rescues.     SO... now what ever do I do with this wee little approx. 36 hr old kitten.

So here I am in the later hours of the evening... turning into the early hours of the morning and I'm caring for three 12 day old kittens, claws and all.... OH MY!  AND.... a wee tiny little weak day old or so baby.  I bet I don't sleep much tonight.    The powers that be are throwing more at me than my heart can handle right now.  I really hope that tomorrow I find someone with a momma with one spare teet!

Hope all this made sense.   I must go feed the babies now.

UPDATE:  The wee one passed in my arms early this morning.  She got her wings. The other three are doing great... I must try and nap now.

March doodles

Latest doodles and frustration

 So... here are the latest of my odd little doodles.  My new book and its paper are very different and I'm still playing around with how things work on it.

Outside of that.... right now, in another area of life... frustration is my title for today.  I'm frustrated, angry, fed up and just want to crawl under a rock.  I am tired of the fight, tired of the battle, tired of the failure.  Tired of everything.  Sick of being broken.   Just wanna scream, yell, cry and be "EMO" as some call it.  I call it feeling like SHIT.   What really sux is that its all about Health and Money.  I HATE THEM BOTH.    Just I am just... so done right now.  Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow but anger and hurt and general bleep bleepidy bleep is how I am feeling today.

Today the world is just a huge lonely ball of living things and I don't feel like I belong on it.  

New 8x5 journal first entries!

A bird in time

In hospital doodle

Cover of leather 8x5 journal

Started this new doodle journal, it has a leather hand tooled cover, with handmade hand-torn paper.  This book really is quite awesome, took me some doing to put the pen down on page one.  :D    Its an 8x5 inch book, so its almost twice the size of my previous books.  I'm still going to have to get myself new little ones, just because I kind of like the small size too!